Self-Love? Yikes!

Last year was a big year of personal and professional changes.  In particular, becoming a co-owner of the British School of Meditation, plus also launching my book, took huge amounts of energy, and so I decided, at the end of last year, to retreat into my shell a little and allow my body and mind some space – and peace.

Of course, this is what the Wintering season is all about.  A time to hibernate, ready to emerge again in the Spring time.  To me, this was the best self-love I could give myself.

Self-love?  Yikes!

We can get a little uncomfortable when talking about self-love, almost as if the possibility of it will mean our egos are taking over if we do.  Yet, if we don’t have a little self-love it can impact our self-esteem, self-worth, and in some cases can induce sadness, anxiety, and depression.  You see, when we don’t turn love in, we are more likely to listen to the voice of self-criticism.

Before I discovered Reiki and Meditation, I would be incredibly hard on myself.  I expected more of myself than I did others, and my self-criticism was always at an all time high.  Our inner critic is part of our flight or fight response – if your body is perceiving you to be in a vulnerable situation, it may ignite the inner critic to bring harsh judgement to remove you from the stressful situation.  For some, the self-destructive voice can be on a constant feedback loop, and this was certainly the case for me.

Meditation came first, and helped me to realise I was worth more than the harsh judgement.  When reiki came next, I was overwhelmed by the unconditional love I felt during the treatments.  But the biggest game changer, for me, was being introduced to the loving-kindness meditation practice.

This simple act of expressing compassionate wishes towards yourself, and then to all beings everywhere, was initially challenging and I definitely resisted it, but after two weeks of a daily practice I found the harsh judgement was starting to be replaced by a kinder inner voice.  Plus I found I preferred to listen to the kinder voice too.

I love the portability of the practice – I can silently whisper the phrases when I am feeling apprehensive, or a little sad, but mostly I turn to it when the inner critic chips in with some unhelpful criticism.  I’ve realised that when I am in these states, I need a little compassion, and the only – and best – person to do this, is myself.

So as you can see, a little bit of self-love is not about inflating the ego.  It is about bringing balance when it is needed the most.

Here is a link to a meditation where we bring loving-kindness to our body parts.  I hope you enjoy.

 

 

If you would like to re-kindle your meditation practice, why not book onto my Foundation 2 Mindfulness Meditation course?  Each session will include a short recap of the foundations from the beginners course (Foundation 1), plus you we will get to deepen your experience and knowledge of meditation.  It is the perfect way to rekindle some self-love.

Or, if you would like to give a gift of love, there is always my book ‘Making Friends with Yourself: a Practical Guide on How Meditation Can Take You from Overwhelm to an Inner Calm’.  This is available on paperback or kindle via Amazon, or you can pick up a paperback version directly from me.  Email info@sarahpresley.co.uk